So JARRID S , struck me down. I can’t say I didn’t expect it from my last post. but Just caught me off gaurd, hes the individual that I met off grindr in my last post. Yes the one I gave everything to , I got hooked on him really fast. for whatever reason I just let myself go , and still tried to Believe that he was into me . The whole thing just amazed me and left me stunned as to how cruel dating games and men in general can be, not just to specify gay men . But It just seems so hearltess and cruel.. Or maybe I just don’t know how to date. With this one I was even dumb enough to buy him roses for him thinking that he would somehow finally want to establish something .
Well I mentioned spina bifida because that s why the sex with him was so awkward, The fact a man can’t cum somehow doesn’t seem logical. but I was willing to accept it. and try to go from there. I was willing to accept that he would never be available to me becuase of his job as a gm for a funeral company . I was wanting to accept all issues, When youre in love thats what you do you accept them and all issues. And I know I was becuase I was so hooked and fascinated by him even though I knew nothing of him . Even though I new from the start that this probably wasn’t to amount to anything . . . But over the weekend it all came crashing down .
He hadn’t been texting frequently hardly at all to me, So I knew something was up. This weekend he was in louisiana, I didn’t recieve a response till I finally messaged ” are you ignoring me ” all i got was a blunt Im busy im in louisianna, So that same saturday I bought flowers. Figured it was time to let him know hey I care more about then as just a friend. But didnt think it would backfire on me in so many way s. No thank you no nothing, It seemed as if he didn’t care at all .
And I was right , I texted him on sunday ” did you make it home safe” and yes that’ts when he finally replied yeah > and the breakup text.,..the you are a friend text.
It just amazed me that someone with so many issues like he has would not want something . yet he claims he was already seeing someone else, He was so cruel,hurtful, apparently I was not even dating him according to him and that he only thought of me as friend always .Even After I yelled out on text I love you , he just saw me as a crazy person . .. I cried my heart out for a few days. but I learned alot from Jarrid S in the short time I knew him . I will go on and Keep on dating . Im not going to allow one man to bring me down. Im worth so much more and one day I will find love.
but it amazes me that people are so cruel. When it comes to dating , how can you not feel anything for anyone ? Am I supposed to kiss and have sex with no feelings behind them ? I can’t do that . I’m just not built that way . I guess I was just a fling for him all along, Yet I fell into his pretty eyes and beautiful smile , and got the FUcked up end of the deal.. Well dating dilemas. Will always be there, but how do I get to know someone without feeling anything ? or are gay men really this cruel… Or im just siting her wondering what I did wrong, Or am I really just not good enough, for a relationship .But either way Ill just do what I do best and move on .
Im not arguing , Im just explaining why im right !... 