1. Its not you its me , , means you just weren’t hot enough to rock their boat
2. I need to focus on my career ,, Means they have a new crush at work they are working on .
3. I’m not over my past relationship . .. means your really not their type and they are waiting for the better option still .
4. I need time to focus on me ,, means you were to clingy and they want to be a whore .
5. We are just not at the same level ,, Means they want someone who has a better job,car, makes more money , aka SUGAR DADDY/MAMA
6. I’m not ready for something like this right now. Means, You weren’t at the level of hotness they expected when they saw ya naked .
7. I think we’d be better as friends , means you suck in bed probably .
8.You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve. Means they are selfish and just plain don’t want to make an effort , * This is a nicer way of saying I’m not that into you ”
9 .I don’t deserve you . . . you’re too good for me, means you are probably boring and predictable . (change it up! )
10. I need space, Mean you were to needy , In other words they couldn’t take your 500 text messages a day anymore.
So if these lines were used on ya , now you know what they really mean ! JAJA 😉
Recently I’ve been feeling so disconnected from everyone, as if i am on another page. I am a pretty social person,always the life of the party .confident. smart, I know Im not ugly, and I have a family to come home to at night Well my dogs , lol I consider them family but I’ve been feeling so depressed and lonely for some reason I cant come up with an answer ..
I’ve recently figured out myself that I cant trust anyone in this world except for your family .
I know that having a well established relationship with someone helps alot in times like these were I feel like the worlds against me because I’ve had a Boyfriend before but I just dont have any motivation at all anymore to even bother with one right now.
When I go on “dates” its like hes here and im always ways over there in another world. I like the people who i meet but the connection itself hasnt been strong enough, I just dont know if its me or them ? . I cant seem to connect anyof them . Is it that ive been so jaded that keeping to myself is a selfpreservation thing ? or what ?? How can it be this hard when love is what I want the most .
Iim losing my self confidence, self esteem, and i feel a little depressed because everything was really good at one point were even if I didnt have a guy i can always be a little happy with Who I am ,
I am so confused about life its driving me insane..
The issue has been hot in the news lately and It just breaks my heart when I read the nasty comments that some people have left behind on the issue. Yes it probably shouldn’t be our issue but in the end if you can help a child why would you turn your back on a poor defenseless little child. These parents that sent them here aren’t evil .. They sent them here with the hopes of better future. We can’t judge them harshly for this . We aren’t in the same situation as they are . I don’t see how parents are doing this. It takes alot of need and courage to send your child away alone. I may not have a kid but I have dogs and I can’t even imagine them getting lost out there alone. These kids are lost alone, scared,hungry and im sure trusting those coyotes that don’t care about anything but themselves and the money they bring in .
A solace disregard for these children wont do anything . Why are we not doing anything about this ? all i hear Is our homeless. our vets our problem. Love and help out as much as you can people . If you can help help in anyway. I volunteer at a nursing home and also a childrens cancer center.
Im not better for this , Im just doing my little part.
So its tuesday night … here I sit alone , again..nothing but the noises of my dogs play fighting . Today was trying I feel stressed overworked .. generally unsatisfied but thankful..
View from my front porch …
Thats me ..tired sunburned and peeling ..lol
My day started off with a usual routine I got up, showered got dressed loaded my bike into the car and , went to work like most normal people . Other than my normal the only thing I did was have lunch with my friend Lucy at royal chopstix .
.its become a weekly ritual for me ..and yes I always order the same thing .. orange chicken and steamed rice.
After my long what felt eternal shift I went out and did a few miles on my favorite trail ..then I came home ..
Stressed and alone I just put chicken in the oven to bake …so I then made a mimosa ..andre, mangoes and oj … love them
Im now here sitting on my porch
I dont know why but I began to think about my future and the things im thankful for …
Thoughts came pouring in …
*above is screenshot from google earth view of my house *back home …
1St what I want is a house ..owning land and establishing yourself on this earth is something we all want ..I dont want a mansion or a big fancy house. Im a simple person and have learned , that things dont hold value and they dont make your life..I want maybe a three bedroom house , not to big or to small just right .. like the house I grew up in .. a house with a big back yard for my dogies to grow old and play around on ..a nice big kitchen .. with an island ! I love cooking ..when I picture my future I picture myself entertaining my friends and family I LOVE COOKING .. To me making a satisfying meal that I created for someone and watching them enjoy it is amazing to me …next … a big front porch with a rocking swing . Thatl be where hopefully me and my future husband will watch many sunsets together , enjoying our mimosas of course … Finally last request would be a big garage … one that we would fill with our bikes, camping gear, kayaks everything else ! My future husband who is stiil out there must love nature like me …
2Nd I want kids .. I wanna be able to if not adopt or do a suragate mom or some thing..I want a family unit..If its aboy I want to be able to show him to throw a ball or how punch ! Jaja .. if its a girl of course shed be spoiled ..with many many priness tea partys and everything in between.ive gone also looking for other single gay dads …figured thats the easy route. ..and plus I want stability ..
I want. My house to be made into a home ..a home filled with love and many memories …
Im thankful for ..
Geting the oportunity to move to texas I have the careerI want and love my job … of course there are those other days.Moving to texas was one of the best things ever for me ..I learned to grow up .. of course i miss my family I miss seing my nieces and nephews grow up ..but im thankful when I do see them …when I moved in 2005 I was a different person ..I used to think there wasnt a god .. and cared nothing more then about myself ..now I see light , im happy.. My relationship with god is stronger then ever now Ive now changed amd love life ..im now know that im not meant to just party .. I want quite movie nights and bingo nights with friends .. funny how things change..
2Nd im thankful for my relationship that once was .. with edmundo It was a good 5 yrs ..I learned a lot about myself and how strong I am .. although we lost each other ..Im glad it happened .. now I will wait for my next love …hopefully the last in my life ..I may not have a partner now and want nothing more then to be in love but I want things to happen naturally.. ill sit here waiting for him..I know hes out there .
In terms of my future ..I m not sure about it but nothings ever writen in stone and the future can always be changed…
I ve been asked this question alot lately , All my friends are always , like your such a good guy with a good heart ! , & please stop setting me up . seriously …. Why are you Single .
So heres your answer. Im single for many reasons .
1. Single becuase my gaurd is up, I can spot a flake a mile away and wont give into just anything .
2. MY Expectations are high . I want some one who is , HAPPY , has their life together . happy emotionally , physically and spiritually … what you see in public isnt the reality of what is behind closed doors.
3. Dont want to get hurt again . as you can see from my many posts all my dating experiences with other men have not gone so well ..
I still keep at it and hope that hes out there .. Mr Right .. H e exists somewhere .
4. baggage. They say the past makes the future but then their are those that hold on the past and cant move on from it . some people just
cant let go . I always get the gay guys that have alot of baggage and issues .
5. I refuse to just dive into thing s right away . I want someone who will be friends with me and get to know each other from the beginning ive always believed that a good relationship starts with a good friendship . and a part of the diving in part , would be my last date .. example ;; I went out with this guy only spoke with him two times over the phone went out with him twice; the second date with in a week of talking to me he sais , I love you . i Was stunned, I would never allow myself to fall that quick for anyone .. need less to say my response to his I LOVE YOU was , ” oh look pizzas here ” I LOVE PIZZA. yeah .. of course i quit talking to him after that one .. just cant dive into abyss without knowing you .
6. People dont value relationship .. A relationship is work , You have to devote time and patience and energy to that person . some times it can be overwhelming. If its overwhelming then why would i want to be with you?
That is why I choose to remain to single; , I refuse to give in . but I do know one day that everything will fall into placeand that he is out there for me .
So I continue my search and kiss frogs hoping my prince will show up one day .
Weve all been in those relationships that just werent meant to be , I ve learned alot in my past relationships and now have concurrent evidence , If You a wonderful self loving respecting human beings sees any of the following please Run ! Dont be stupid and stay . thinking it itll work it out self . Relationships no matter how fucked up run a course of there own taking us through many winding unnessary turns that could have been stopped long before we turned. !!! ..this is just not taken from one of my relationship s … This is what I have learned from my long list that goes on and on through out my dating games. and through my gentlemen callers. …. but ill do the top ten …….signs That should have you running for the hills……in otherwords as they say cut the cord ——>>>>>>
1.. if he sais ” I LOVE YOU ” within the first 1 week of dating . Run .. Youre gonna have major issues later along the lines. … I mean really unless that person has self loathing issues then why else would it be so easy for them to be spouting ” I LOVE YOU ” .. WITHIN a WEEK !!!! . no references intended ! and yes u know who u are if you re reading this .
2. He uses pot , unless you can deal with the after math , really if you need him in an emergency situation is he going to be able to walk to you to help you get or be to fd up that he cant event walk to youre rescue , its prolly not going to work .call it survival reasons .
3 . He keeps in contact with any of his ex’s … There called x’s for a reason . if it wasn’t meant to be in the first place then you shouldn’t be in contact with any of your’e no matter what , whether its ” oh were trying to be friends ” oh yeah right whatever .. we’ve all heard that one .before.. * fuck buddy comes to mind ,AT Least in my past self experiences anyways . yeah Im a blunt person . …**** ..
.4. He drinks…. drinking is ok but in small controlled quantities………
If you ‘ve had to hold youre mans head up a whole night after going club , while he spits up his insides on you its just not love trust me on this . .. Its just not going to work … many reasons. behind this one . hygene , etc.
5…SEXUAL REFERENCES. …..
yEAH , iF HE/she constantly , talks about his /her past experiences . Its not going to work . means there either just plain whores , and not satisfied fully with you . Why else would they spout that kinda talk in front of you . Really . Think about this one . long and deep . Do you love yourself ?
6.LOCKED CELL PHONE . ……….
Cell phones hold all you need to know , I f a person won’t unlock there cell phone for any reason . ITs becuase they are hiding shit , really dont get youre panties in a twist over this one .. trust me they have a lock code for a reason , (you) …. and that whole placing phones face down . and answering in any other is a red flag ! … for reals . i always keep mine unlocked because well I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. if im fucking someone else ill tell you all about it.
7.bipolar … def of bipolar . someone who will fuck up youre day… yeah .. reading a persons text messages is an indicator … like one minute … oh “””im happy” next “i love you “..next” im gonna killyoure dogies” … to oh “im sorry i wanna be with you forever ” yeah thats bipolar … …
8. he wears womans underclothes, I believe its called a fetish .. but fetishes only imply during sex. ? am I right or wrong ?????? if he wears them all day ,,, its not normal . I know in my list of gentlemen callers I ‘ve encountered alot of real freaks . for reals ….lol
9. paraphrasing of movie quotes, brought into real life …. for example >>>>>>>
Devil Wears Prada scene where the main lead is told ” please take your time you know how i love it when move at a glacial pace …. it just thrils me” .
YEAH to me its just not cute, ….and it gets annoying after a while >>.its cute at the beginning but just dont do it , its fd up . for reals .
10…..you ve had doubts of your own .. if you have ever questioned you wanted this ,and wondered like an idiot ” is this really it for me ” . then yes its not going to work out . … you re answer lies in your e question.
those are my reasons for running. if it was you ., ” IT JUST DIDNT WORK OUT
” AS swift put it , we are never getting back together again .
05/11/2012
So its now 5:45 pm Here I am at work still . I’m on my 4th cup of coffee already . Thank god my company likes to keep us jazzed with all the free caffeine we can take !!! And I just reached for a 7UP can . Everyone has left the office is now empty.
I work for “ the electricity company “ and yet here I am sitting and yet I feel like I’m not even here like I just went through the whole workday and don’t even remember what I said or did four hours ago . …. Let alone what I had for lunch.
Is that sign that, I’ve become a zombie to the job? A job which once 3 years ago I
Felt excited about ; and loved the thought of coming to work. It was the very first job that I can honestly I used to look forward to coming to everyday.
. I work in customer service, yeah the “ why is my bill high” eternal question type of job. Some days I just wanna shoot the person on the other line. !!! I mean really is it that hard to understand youre energy bill , just turn youre shit off and it’ll be much better ! but of course I can’t do that .
Oh well geez I wish I Could be like the POWERINCORPORATED commercials if you haven’t seen them or don’t know what I am talking about AND aren’t from texas heres samples ; geez this would give customer services a whole new turn lol herese some samples.
But how is it that people just go through life like a zombie punching a time card everyday and not doing what they love? Have you ever wanted to do what you love and get paid for it ? Im no dummy and know that bills need to be paid but how can you love what ya do ? What you do is only a part of you it doesn’t define who you are.
That’s why im praying that my photography works out ! well see what the future holds . But until then I’m in my little cubicle trapped. Is a job just like a relationship how do I rekindle the fire I once felt for my job?
I recently went to Las Vegas ! yeah exciting but out come of the trip was way different .
So it started all regular the usual stuff. Got on the plane boarded and everything. Everything going excellent, I love LOVE Love Las Vegas, the thrill, the excitement, people, theres something always to do at every hour, you can’t ever go bored with Las Vegas. The majesty of the hotels was amazing . Being there makes you feel amazing amongst all the crowds of people, and the amazing street performance that are always available ! . Best of all I had the time to spend with my bestie Jacob , that’s Jacob an awkward person when you first see him but once ya get to know him hes just awesome ! 😉 Proof of that is , get this , when we were taking off and landing hes the only person who will yell “ woohoo “ in the middle of a full plane, yeah slightly embarrassing , but hey , that’s my Jakey , we’ve been friend for almost 9 years , And hes one of the very few people from Wichita, Ks that still come to Dallas to visit me 😉 hes a character once you get to know him;-)
We stayed At the Riviera Hotel& Casino , and it was amazing , . We of course didn’t spend anytime in the hotel room. I did attend there buffet though I must say Of all the buffets I’ve Been to it wasn’t my cup of tea the selection was very limited for a buffet . The best one of course is MGM GRAND buffet I go back everytime I go to Las Vegas , The next one after that is the Circus Circus Buffet there selection was excellent and not as expensive as MGM Grand Buffet and the staff was really nice.
I did gamble , of course didn’t win anything but $40.00 I started with a $10.00 and that was the most I won. The rest of the time I just relaxed, enjoyed the buffets and the rest of what experience has to offer. My highlight was the Eiffel tower experience, I Absolutely loved the view from the top. I t brought back memories from my time in the real Paris!
Heres some pics .
It was a good 4 days spent, I got to use my tax refund for the trip ! so putting Uncle Sams money was finally good . I used the experience to go see shows that I haven’t gotten to go see as many times as I’ve been to Las Vegas
I know tackie but true , In the two times I’ve been to Las Vegas I have never been to a Showgirl s show ! like real true Las Vegas Show girls show girls , so I booked us tickets to go see Jubilee. It was awesome . At first thought Oh wow, a topless review ! odd for me to weirded out but hey That’s me , below is a link to website and youtube review.
The show itself was amazing the gala event ! Outfits were stunning , and I can’t imagine how those girls work in the outfits .The show was just spectacular can’t say anything bad about it , it’s a good experience to have to see a bit of old Las Vegas in Modern Format . The show was great I wont reveal anything to not spoil it for you all ! I highly recommend it its worth the $130.00 seats for it . The colors of the outfits, the hairdos and the girls were breathtaking Theres something in the show for everyone !
The next show I went to was Ka . Ka well what can I say ! it’s just a stellar show , Proof of a show no matter how many times you go see it you never get tired of it .
I’ve seen the show evertime I’ve gone back to vegas . Love it ! If you don’t see any shows ever in Vegas then at least take the time to see this one . It will be an experience that you will remember for life . It is will worth the time and money you spend . From the first scene to the last in the show the scenery is magic happening right before youre very own eyez. Heres a preview of the story that is KA
On the eventful side My allergies just plane sucked on the trip . It got so bad that I even had to go to the ER and get an allergy shot ! I lost a couple of hours that day but oh well other then that the trip was memorable 😉
And last here’s some pics from the trip hope you enjoy them
Its the week that we remember 09.11.2001 , to get started i remember like it was yesterday . I remember i was off that day had just gotten out of bed a couple of mins followed the usual routine i had just taken a shower when the first news of it came on the air. I remember loouking at the first tower as it smoldered with the big gaping whole in it , It was something that I never thought i would live through in my life ,at the time i was 21 ,living at home and working for tmobile at the time , I remember looking at the TV and wondering if it was for real ; or if i was just watching another hollywood movie ; i dont think at the time first transmissions came that anyone really understood that it was a terrorist attack at the time . Itt was hard to believe that it was real . But it did happen. I can imagine the horror that the people in the towelrs must have felt. Who in there lifetime ever thinks about how there going to die ? I dont think death is an every day subject that anyone sits around thinking about ,
What shocked me the most was those images of those people jumping from the tower . I couldnt believe or begin to phathom the thought of what those people must of felt , for anyone to decide and take control of there own death the way they did . They had choices. Not good ones but i do believe that those who jumped psychology its a matter of self control . I guess we all realize we cant cheat death but if we had the choise of choosing how to die; which would it be ? Or maybe i realize and think that in the end some just wanted to breathe clean air and not have to die smothered in flames beyond recognition. at least if you jump you can still be identified. Which is what I honestly think that these people were thinking ; I remember the couple who jumped to there on the day they jumped holding hands, or the woman who jumped still clutching on to her purse the most thing i remember is this image of this man ; the image is known world wide is the falling man . He was never identified . Its thought to believe that we know who it is but not 100% sure. I believe that everyone is entitled to any decision whether it be out of desperation or need or something you want to do ; These images to me are the most haunting of 09-11 to me anyways There something that touches the soulf of anyone who sees them . To see these people fluttering through the air. but In the end i think I see where they would choosse this over any other way of dying. I guess its a feeling of flying to heaven . Where i know they all are . Remember 09-11 . Life can change an instant. never forget 09-11 . to remember is to respect lives taht were lost that day .
Im not arguing , Im just explaining why im right !... 