real definition of dumping CLICHES

1. Its not you its me , , means you just weren’t hot enough to rock their boat

2. I need to focus on my career ,, Means they have a new crush at work they are working on .

3. I’m not over my past relationship . .. means your really not their type and they are waiting for the better option still .

4.  I need time to focus on me ,, means you were to clingy and they want to be a whore .

5. We are just not at the same level ,, Means they want someone who has a better job,car, makes more money , aka SUGAR DADDY/MAMA

6.  I’m not ready for something like this right now. Means, You  weren’t at the level of hotness they expected when they saw ya naked .

7. I think we’d be better as friends , means  you suck in bed probably .

8.You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve. Means they are selfish and just plain don’t want to make an effort , * This is a nicer way of saying I’m not that into you ”

9 .I don’t deserve you . . . you’re too good for me, means you are probably boring and predictable .  (change it up! )

10. I need space, Mean you were to needy , In other words they couldn’t take your 500 text messages a day anymore.

So if these lines were used on ya , now you know what they really mean ! JAJA 😉

Dear John Doe ” lets play chess?

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them. I know  myself well enough..
I’ll walk with my head down trying to block you out ’cause I’ll never impress you .The fact being you are not a good person.  All you will  ever be,in comparison to me is nothing . I’m a lot stronger then most people would dare to think . . Those you underestimate are the ones whom you should be looking out for.

Karma will take care of everything . Here I am again washed up and ranting about the same thing  again there you were with the same old line on the same ” I’m sorry” You painted me a pretty picture that I so ignorantly believed. Maybe because I’m so young and ignorant . Always believing in love and happiness.  Once again thank you to all for proving to me .

Im not sure if this is me or is it you ? Why do most men in general treat dating a like chess game. And I’m the queen your trying to checkmate?  Yet I always fall back in to the game waiting on your next move . I might be young at heart . Don’t men care about the feelings of  another ? or is it just people are insensitive period.

And for the sake of not getting hurt I didn’t let you start a fire because of this reason . Now I am shinning bright without you . I might have cried for a day or two but that’s all you get . To moving on and the dating game that is chess.

john doe being  aka anyone Ive ever dated or ” gotten to know” . Men in my life.

BREASTFEEDING MAMAS

So this subject has been hot in the news here in Texas at least . Due to Texas passing possibly passing a new law that would require establishments to have a designated place for nursing moms to breast feed.

Well heres Lonzy s opinion .

Only talking about this also becuase I was at Applebees and a breastfeeding mom was asked by an employee to go to the bathroom and breastfeed the child . I went to Applebees , then all the sudden next to us a couple of tables down  there was this woman breastfeeding her child; I only noticed because things were getting heated I saw a manager go up to her and ask her to go elsewhere to breast feed. Now I’m not a female of course but I don’t have an issue with this . My only issue with this one was yes the mom wasn’t even covering up like literally just letting the baby grip on to her like nada and no cover over the feeding baby .. That was my issue ,   although I love the female body  and all it’s glory I just didn’t appreciate being able to see the baby actually clamping onto the nipple , and the actual exposed nipple . . Maybe straight guys might have a different opinion ..I don’t have an issue with this breast feeding at all but to all feeding moms . Cover it up .

Yes I agree that we are all adults , and that baby has to eat , But really do all the other children at the establishment need to see  your nipple ? Why I think not .  It’s just a common courtesy . Breast feeding is ok and of course theres nothing wrong with it . Just cover it up and put something like a baby blanket or something on ya . And if you do have a problem with any form of breast feeding then maybe your the one with the issue. Its a natural beautiful thing but their is a proper way of doing things.

If we all thought my way then maybe we might be able to get along 😉

textually active * activate my last nerve.

 

 

why is it always that the people that piss you off the most are the people you actually want to talk to like your crush , or that guy your seeing .

 

OK so I never initiate this kinda of text but a couple of days go I’m like

<hey guy wanna do some Skype.

and yes my text was ignored, NOT cool … I didn’t get aresponse for another 2 freaking . days .. and all he was was like .Oh i was I was tired  and im thinking in the back of my head  <what , three finger punches dude NO(SEND) would’ve  been all I needed and been fine with it .  And well It just means this moron had better options and I’m nobodys option b..I’m either your option A or we no option at all .

2nd pet peeve , FB FRIENDS… you see them update their status and there all like  “WATCHING ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK ON NETFLIX , OMG LOVE THIS SHOW”  you message them on their phone  (because your friends and your cool like that )  unlike their other 80 billion Facebook friends.  and then 3 hours go buy and absolutely nothing .. not a response at all .  I’m like really ,, doesn’t take that long of a courtesy to say ,, something like busy , brb.. or respond;; cant talk right now brb … BRB something short in response would be nice instead of leaving me hanging . With no response at all .. and then i’m left sitting at home all pissed and like ” I hate orange is the new black ” night ruined; that’d be FACEBOOK status update after something like that . LOL

 

3rd pet peeve , Use of the word cool. COOL to me is like telling someone ” I don’t give a fuck”. How in the hell do you come back from that ? in chat rooms and dating apps if a guys answer to anything is “cool ” then Im usually turned off and dismiss from dating potential .. You just cant go anywhere from there for reals .

 

4th pet peeve.. K.. K shouldnt be the answer to any thing other then stating a fact or awaiting confirmation .  Example

on the way to your place ; k

on the way home can you pickup a burger from  mc; k

see what I mean , awaiting confirmation or stating a fact .

5th pet peeve .

when someone  Initiate s a conversation with you : Example , HE SENT me

Im at chipotle , what ya doing ;; my response ; relaxing at home watching tv.. then after that nothing .. * dont leave me hanging*  .. period .

 

One day if I text you dont be surprised if your walking out your house and see me sitting  outside chances are you pissed me off and im about to go mortal combat on you. And it just means I texted you and you didnt answer . Your fault.  Im weird like that .  Common courtesy goes along way .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

askhole* yeah you . 85% of my friends ;-) love ya .

So we all have that one friend whos always coming to you for advice,  Then we gladly give it to them .. And of course that fucker goes and does the exact opposite of what you tell them to do .. I  mean think about it me as your friend will come back to you and answer with all complete honesty all you people know that the friend will value you and tell you the right thing to do . When you come to me im  a give ya my opinion but ill probably also pull out all the good stuff like , graphs, charts, reporst, hell even google analytics shit on ya .. So there for you know Im invested in your well being .

Dont come back at with the same problem over and over; Ill give you two phone calls on the same issue then were done .. example of what i mean ..

 

me -hi

friend- Whos that nice looking  girl on your fb leaving all them comments,

me – her name is (eva ) shes ok and hot but ,, crazy ! .

 

Two weeks later ;; same friend

me -hi

friend- hey i hooked up with that eva girl…* shes crazy

me-told ya so

****meanwhile* evas in car in front of my friends house in her car with baniculars  doing lord knows what.. See I told ya she was crazy …

 

Thats an askhole ….

 

another example,

me- you found your boyfriend deleting message s again , and he still doesnt appreciate you .. * didnt we have this conversation before * mmmmm

 

See caring is one thing but buy the thrid time that your coming at me with the same problem , Im just not gona care , dont be surprised if I  show up at your front door and go madea on you ..

When you ask for a friends advice if you already  know your gonna do the exact opposite then dont bother coming to me with the problem ! !!!..

Why isnt there always an answer ? Somethings nobody knows .

 

 

Recently I’ve been feeling so disconnected from everyone, as if i am on another page. I am a pretty social person,always the life of the party .confident. smart,  I know Im not ugly, and I have a family to come home to at night Well my dogs , lol  I consider them family  but I’ve been feeling so depressed and lonely for some reason  I cant come up with an answer ..
I’ve recently figured out myself that  I cant trust anyone in this world except for your family .
I  know that having a well established relationship with someone helps alot in times like these were I feel like the worlds against me because I’ve had a  Boyfriend before but  I  just dont have any motivation at all anymore to even bother with one right now.

When I go on “dates” its like hes here and im always ways over there  in another world. I like the people who i meet but the connection itself hasnt been strong enough, I just dont know if its me or them ? . I cant seem to connect anyof them . Is it that ive been so jaded that keeping to myself is a selfpreservation thing ? or what ?? How can it be this hard when love is what I want the most .

 

Iim losing my self confidence, self esteem, and i feel a little depressed because everything was really good at one point were even if I didnt have a guy i can always be a little happy with  Who  I am ,

I  am so confused about life its driving me insane..

Caught Up .

Have you caught up in what you cannot see?
Well, if you give me respect
Then you’ll know what to expect.Little .

Expect out of me what you put in

I can only give of myself as much as you do .

They are just children…

 

The issue has been hot in the news lately and It just breaks my heart when I read the nasty comments that some people have left behind on the issue. Yes it probably shouldn’t be our issue but in the end if you can help a child why would you turn your back on a poor defenseless little child. These parents that  sent them here aren’t evil .. They sent them here with the hopes of better future. We can’t judge them harshly for this . We aren’t in the same situation as they are . I don’t see how parents are doing this. It takes alot of need and courage to send your child away alone.  I may not have a kid but I have dogs and I can’t even imagine them getting lost out there alone. These kids are lost alone, scared,hungry and im sure trusting those coyotes that don’t care about anything but themselves and the money they bring in .

A solace disregard for these children wont do anything . Why are we not doing anything about this ? all i hear Is our homeless. our vets our problem.  Love and help out as much as you can people . If you can help help in anyway. I volunteer at  a nursing home and also a childrens cancer center.

Im not better for this , Im just doing my little part.

Why cant you ?

 

Sit on your front porch !

So its tuesday night … here I sit alone , again..nothing but the noises of my dogs play fighting . Today was trying I feel stressed overworked .. generally unsatisfied but thankful..

View from my front porch …

Thats me ..tired sunburned and peeling ..lol

My day started off with a usual routine I got up, showered got dressed loaded my bike into the car and , went to work like most normal people . Other than my normal the only thing I did was have lunch with my friend Lucy at royal chopstix .

.its become a weekly ritual for me ..and yes I always order the same thing ..  orange chicken and steamed rice.

After my long what felt eternal shift I went out and did a few miles on my favorite trail ..then I came home ..

Stressed and alone I just put chicken in the oven to bake …so I then made a mimosa ..andre, mangoes and oj … love them
Im now here sitting on my porch

I dont know why but I began to think about my future and the things im thankful for …
Thoughts came pouring in …

    *above is screenshot from google earth view of my house *back home …

1St what I want is a house ..owning land and establishing yourself on this earth is something we all want ..I dont want a mansion or a big fancy house. Im a simple person and have learned , that things dont hold value and they dont make your life..I want maybe a three bedroom house , not to big or to small just right .. like the house I grew up in .. a house with a big back yard for my dogies to grow old and play around on ..a nice big kitchen .. with an island !   I love cooking ..when I picture my future I picture myself entertaining my friends and family I LOVE COOKING .. To me making a satisfying meal that I created for someone and watching them enjoy it is amazing to me …next … a big front porch with a rocking swing .   Thatl be where hopefully me and my future husband will watch many sunsets together , enjoying our mimosas of course … Finally last request would be a big garage … one that we would fill with our bikes, camping gear, kayaks everything else ! My future husband who is stiil out there must love nature like me …

2Nd I want kids .. I wanna be able to if not adopt or do a suragate mom or some thing..I want a family unit..If its aboy I want to be able to show him to throw a ball or how punch ! Jaja .. if its a girl of course shed be spoiled ..with many many priness tea partys and everything in between.ive gone also looking for other single gay dads …figured thats the easy route. ..and plus I want stability ..

I want. My  house to be made into a home ..a home filled with love and many memories …

Im thankful for ..

Geting the oportunity to move to texas I have the careerI want and love my job … of course there are those other days.Moving to texas was one of the best things ever for me ..I learned to grow up .. of course i miss my family I miss seing my nieces and nephews grow up ..but im thankful when I do see them …when I moved in 2005 I was a different person ..I used to think there wasnt a god .. and cared nothing more then about myself ..now I see light , im happy.. My relationship with god is stronger then ever now Ive now changed amd love life ..im now know that im not meant to just party .. I want quite movie nights and bingo nights with friends .. funny how things change..

2Nd im thankful for my relationship that once was .. with edmundo It was a good 5 yrs ..I learned a lot about myself and how strong I am .. although we lost each other ..Im glad it happened .. now I will wait for my next love …hopefully the last in my life ..I may not have a partner now and want nothing more then to be in love but I want things to happen naturally.. ill sit here waiting for him..I know hes out there .

In terms of my future ..I m not sure about it  but nothings ever writen in stone and the future can always be changed…

GLITTER IN THE AIR, FRIENDSHIPS, EMOTIONS, LONELINESS, and thank yous .

Last night while out on the town again, on one of my fabulous nigthlife excursions ..

A sense of belonging came over me. I dont know why but it just diD. Usually I have always thrived being alone without anyone . But as stood at the tin room all alonE.Surrounded by a crowd of people I felt very alone .

I began to notice something . After going out alone so many times I just realized that the one thing  missing from my life is a group of friends. Yes you know a group of friends like the group on friends the tv show. The ones you know will be there for you  when you just wanna go out and hangout and leave the rest of your problems behind.The ones that will call you Just to see how you are and and actually want to know and friends just that just want to seek you out.

I realized that when it comes to the majority of the “friends” I have im usually the one seeking them out to get together. Go out and do stuff . After soul searching I only have two friend and thats Marian AND Jacob the rest of them that I had I  had to Give  them up for the sake of my relationship. *When your in love you do stupid shit* For some unknown reason my  ex never seemed to be able to get along with any of my friends. There was many arguments  when my friends would come over. Yet I was always able to get along with his.. In fact I became very close to them. They all quit talking to me once we splitup at that point I didnt have anyone left . .Yet  I gave  up my friends  for someone who i thought was going to be apart of my life forever . And Now im paying the price of my mistakes. And just cant seem to bring myself to allow myself into a ” group” of friends.  Jacob was one relationship that I was able to recover after the messup that was my ex Edmundo . Im thankful for his friendship, its been a 12 year friendship with JACOB . love him . And thank you to Marian , youve alway s been there for me . LOVE YA

1st pic me and jacob , 2nd middle pic me and Marian , 3RD ME and edmundo , edmundos the one with the glasses ..

Now I sit here wondering why am I feeling lonely . Im happy and content with my life but just want to fill it up a bit more . I just wish someone would genuinely care about me even just as a friend  . I believe I am a good person and ive always been outward and outspoken , But why am I having such a hard time connecting with people in general?